Aftercare – What Happens When the Scene Ends (Hint: Not Ghosting) 💔🫂
🕯️ You’ve flogged, knelt, commanded, moaned, cried, surrendered, roared, orgasmed, or maybe just stared intensely at each other for 45 minutes while dressed as Victorian detectives. Now what? Aftercare. That’s what.
What Is Aftercare? 🤍
Aftercare is the emotional, physical, and psychological support given after a BDSM scene. Why? Because intense scenes can trigger:
- ⚡ Adrenaline crashes
- 💦 Endorphin dumps
- 😶🌫️ Vulnerability hangovers
- 💔 Sub drop or Dom drop (yes, tops need care too!)
🫧 Think of it as emotional decompression. Or post-kink cuddles.
Types of Aftercare 🛏️
Every human is different, but here are common types:
- Physical: 🧣 blankets, 💧 water, 🍫 snacks, 🩹 band-aids, 🤗 cuddles
- Emotional: 🫀 affirmations, 🧘 grounding, 🗣️ talking about the scene
- Practical: 🧼 cleaning toys, 🪞 checking marks, 🔗 helping untie
- Time Alone: 🕯️ some folks need quiet space to reset
Ask: “What does aftercare look like for you?” before the scene. 🗝️
What Is Sub Drop / Dom Drop? 🕳️
Drop = the emotional and hormonal crash that can happen hours or even days after a scene.
- 🫤 May feel like sadness, fatigue, anxiety, guilt, or general “weirdness”
- 🚫 Not a failure or mistake
- ⚖️ Can affect anyone, not just bottoms
How to deal: 🩵
- 💧 Hydrate and rest
- 📓 Journal or talk it out
- 📱 Reach out to your partner(s) if feeling off
- 🫣 Don’t panic—this is normal
🩹 Drop is real. Plan for it like you plan the scene.
Sample Aftercare Dialogue 🎭
Top: “You did amazing. Are you okay with cuddles, or do you need space?”
Bottom: “Cuddles, please. And maybe a snack?”
Top: “Blanket, water, and gummy bears incoming.” 🍬🧸
Aftercare Isn’t Optional 🧷
Even if the scene was “light.” Even if no tears were shed. Even if you’re “just casual.”
Because BDSM scenes—especially power exchange or intense sensation play—open people up. And what opens, must be gently closed. 🖤
Consent doesn’t end with orgasm. Care is part of the contract. ✒️
Aftercare Plans 📋
Have one! Especially for:
- 🧃 First-time partners
- 🔥 Intense or cathartic scenes
- 🩸 Anything involving pain, degradation, tears, or vulnerability
Example checklist: ✅
- 💧 Water
- 🛏️ Blanket
- 🫂 Emotional check-in
- 📨 Follow-up message in 24 hours
Self-Aftercare 🧖
If you’re solo (or your partner leaves immediately), try:
- 🛁 A warm shower
- 📝 Journaling
- 📺 Watching comfort shows
- 🧸 Cuddling a pillow
- 📞 Calling a trusted friend
💓 Your kink doesn’t make you “needy.” Your nervous system just needs a hug.
