Why Gummy Bears and Blankets Are Kinky Too
You’ve tied the knots, swung the paddle, moaned dramatically, and maybe even screamed "red" like a Broadway star. Now what?
Welcome to aftercare—the part where everyone comes down, cools off, and maybe cries a little in a good way.
What Is Aftercare?
Aftercare is the emotional, physical, and psychological support given after a BDSM scene. It helps everyone transition from altered states (like subspace or domspace) back to everyday reality.
Think of it like a landing pad. You just flew to Planet Kink—you need a soft place to land.
According to The Journal of Sex Research (2024), aftercare helps BDSM participants manage post-scene emotions and reinforce trust within relationships.
Why Does It Matter?
BDSM can be intense. The body releases adrenaline, endorphins, and other neurochemicals. When a scene ends, those chemicals drop—and so can the mood.
That’s why aftercare exists: to prevent emotional whiplash. Even the most hardcore masochist sometimes needs a blanket and a cuddle.
Verywell Mind notes that aftercare practices like cuddling and quiet time can reduce post-sex emotional lows.
Common Aftercare Techniques
- Cuddling – Boosts oxytocin and bonding
- Blankets or robes – Provide warmth and physical safety
- Verbal reassurance – “You did great” helps process vulnerability
- Snacks & water – Gummy bears are magic. Hydration too.
- Cleaning up together – Reinforces shared trust
- Space and silence – Especially for solo decompression
As noted in Psychology Today (2024), meaningful aftercare is part of the consent continuum—not optional.
Dom Aftercare Is Real Too
Yes, Doms need aftercare too. Being in control is emotionally taxing. They can crash just like submissives do.
Check in with your Dom. It’s not just thoughtful—it’s sexy.
Planning It Matters
Talk about aftercare before the scene. Some people need touch. Some need solitude. Others need chocolate and cartoons. It’s all valid.
Negotiate aftercare the same way you negotiate the scene.
Drop Happens
“Sub drop” or “Dom drop” can happen hours or even days after a scene. It might feel like:
- Sadness
- Anxiety
- Fatigue
- Disconnection
If this happens: it’s okay. Let your partner know. Snuggle a pillow, hydrate, and give yourself grace.
Psychologists describe this as mild emotional regression due to endorphin withdrawal—treatable with time, cuddles, and comfort.
Aftercare Is Care
It’s not extra. It’s what makes BDSM safe, sane, and consensual.
Take the time to care for each other—your next scene will be even better.
